Think Big Dream Big

Posted by Kaleidoscope on Thursday, August 13, 2009 at 1:50 PM

It is a cozy night after the rain. I’m freezing until I can hear my bones rattle. The rain has stop but I could still hear water drops apparently like a rhyme to my soul and by all means, my mind scattered like debris all over the place. I lay on the couch by myself while my wife and my little princess have gone to sleep. Somehow or rather, this couch and I seems like having a chemistry or connection. Feeling discomfort, I’m hopelessly force myself to get up and make myself a drink. The television is ON but neither I nor the television realizes our presence as my eyes keep blinking and as if I’m looking for something missing. I always blink my eyes when I think of something. I take a sip from my cup of coffee and sit on the couch again. It took a while for me switch ON my laptop as if I’m being glued to the couch. I seem lost in my own world, lost until I don’t know how to put it into words. And then out of no where, I realize that I was actually dreaming about lots of things that perpetually got to do with my own future.

When talking about dreams, I believe everyone has their own dreams. You don’t have to be a well-off person or a corporate figure in order to have a dream. It’s the only thing that doesn’t involve money at all. I’ve remembered when I was a child that I wanted to be a doctor so that I could cure all the sickness in the world or even a policeman as a second choice because I was so drawn with the crime and justice television series at that time. But since I didn’t have a brain to be a doctor or physically fit to be a policeman, those dreams faded away. As I grown up, I have occupied myself with a solid technical background which led me to what I am right now. But having said that, I have never satisfied with all the learning processes that I’ve thought would be never enough to fulfill my eagerness. It doesn’t mean that I’m too greedy and never feel grateful with all the opportunities that I have had before. I’m still in love with all the books and never put a full stop on my study. But due to some circumstances, I have to give ways to my wife to pursue her dreams which means that anytime from now she’ll be back to school. I know some might say that it doesn’t a big deal, we both could study part time at the same time, it just about a time management or so. The thing is that, we both don’t want to be too busy until there’s no one to be beside our little princess. As for my little princess, at her age, she’s in the middle of learning about everything. And it has to be someone that could shower her with all the knowledge that she needs, giving her non-stop guidance about what’s what, and the most important is someone has to be at her side all the time and monitor her developments. I’ve remembered when I was studying part time at a local university where I was so busy with all the acts and study cases, my hands were tied up with books and assignments, I was merely neglected my little princess physically and emotionally when there were several times I declined her enticement to play along with me. It made her so broken hearted. Personally, I don’t want to break her heart again and leave her alone by herself is the last thing I would do.

Its quarter past three, I’m barely sleeping as if my mind still heavy with all kinds of thoughtfulness and plans. Whatever it takes, I will never stop dreaming and will always put myself on a correct path just to make sure that one day I could still pursue my dream no matter in what cost. Dream to challenge myself to be at the greatest and furthest in education.

P/s Do you know that a male cuttlefish use its fingers to hold its sperm as soon as it being extracted and put it into the female mouth? That’s how they mate.


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